Bitchin' Kitchen # 1: Everyone Loves Cookies (Even Cupcakes)

Last week's blog got me thinking -- well, stewing really -- about cooking failures past (and, nightmare of nightmares, future) and I decided I needed to reaffirm my capabilities. Only to myself, though -- this would be a self-confidence-building exercise, not an endeavour in egomania.

And then my boyfriend presented me with news. His grad school classroom (I'm sorry, teaching certification program -- he hates when I call it grad school) was taking turns signing up to bring treats for their module. He announced proudly that he had signed up for two slots within the next week -- or, rather, he had signed me up, as his cooking prowess extended to heating chicken noodle soup from the can and melting cheese and chopped pepperoni sticks over tortilla chips under the broiler.

(I make this joke in all seriousness -- after leaving him on his own for dinner for the first time, I arrived home to find the potatoes I'd prepped un-grilled, the chicken I'd marinated un-baked, the salad I'd mixed un-made, and him sitting red-handed and pink-faced in front of the TV with a plate of tortilla chips, melted cheese, and chopped turkey pepperoni. I have yet to let him live this down.)

And so, I got inspired: this is the result. For kids of all ages (including boyfriend's grad class), these cupcakes are a delicious treat whose aesthetic delight is equalled only by their fun in assembly.

So, without further ado:

Cookie Monster Cupcakes

(Apologies in advance for the sporadic photos. At some points I did very well, at others I got caught up in the process and forgot... and then my camera battery died, so I had to take the last few with my phone. I promise I will do better next time.)

Cupcakes:

½ cup butter

1 c white sugar

2 large eggs

1 c skim milk

1 tsp vanilla (preferably double strength)

2 c all purpose unbleached flour

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp, or 12-15 drops, blue food coloring

Have butter at room temperature. Blend well with sugar, using a whisk, a pair of forks, or (preferably) an electric mixer.

Beat in eggs, one at a time.

Combine dry ingredients in separate bowl.

Measure out milk and add vanilla and food coloring to the mixing cup; stir gently in the mixing cup. Keep separate.

Stir 1/3 dry mixture into “butter/egg” batter. Mix.

Add 1/3 milk mixture. Mix.

Repeat in 1/3 portions until dry mixture and milk mixture have all been added.

Fill the cups of a standard muffin pan with paper liners. Using a soup spoon, spoon equal amounts into each of the cups until all batter has been used. (When I doubled this recipe, it made 36 cupcakes. If you find that you want to make smaller ones, or you are overfilling the liners, start a second tray. Just make sure that whatever cups are left empty are filled with water and not left empty.

Bake at 350°C/180°C in the oven for 15-20 minutes or until a toothpick poked into the centre of the cupcake comes out clean. Cake surface will start to appear golden brown around the edges (although this is hard to tell when the cupcakes are blue, so always go by the toothpick).

Icing:

2 ½ cups sugar

10 large egg whites (these can be bought in cartons, which I find easiest)

4 cups (8 sticks; I also like this method too because you can just cut the sticks where the measurements are already drawn out) butter, cut into pieces

2 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp (12-15 drops) blue food coloring

Place sugar and egg whites in a heat-proof bowl (the heat-proof metal bowl of your electric mixer would work if this is what you are using). 2/3 fill a large soup pot with water, bring to a simmer (medium-low heat; any higher and the egg whites will cook and you will get white chunks in your icing) and set the mixing bowl inside. Whisk constantly until sugar has dissolved and egg whites are hot to the touch, 3-5 minutes. (Test by rubbing with your fingers; it should feel smooth and not grainy).

Transfer bowl to mixer stand (or counter, if no mixer). Whisk on high speed until mixture has completely cooled and formed stiff and glossy peaks, about 10 mins.

Add the butter, one piece at a time, and beat until each addition has been mixed in.

Add vanilla and food coloring, beat until just combined.

Continue mixing until completely smooth, about 5 mins more.

(Yeah... see, the icing would be one of those space-out-and-forget-to-take-pictures-moments. Oops.)

A tip: If you don't want to make icing (which I have been informed some people do not), the grocery stores sells cans of icing that (I have also been told) work just as well. I stopped and took a peek at them the last time I went grocery shopping and I think Betty Crocker makes them in various colours, if these are the ones people are telling me about. There are multiple heads to attach to the aerosol can, so use the one that looks like a Philips head screwdriver because intuition tells me it will work the best to make furry cookie monster faces.

Assembly:

For the eyes (per cupcake):

2 disc-shaped white mints (or white chocolate baking discs)

2 chocolate chips

a tiny amount of white icing (or blue, if you can hide it well)

Glue the chocolate chips to the mints using the icing.

Cookies:

Use a butter knife to cut oreo cookies in half (you need the knife or they will crumble. I speak from experience).

When the cupcakes have completely cooled (and the ‘eyes’ have set), spread them thickly with blue icing. Use a fork to pick up points of icing and texturize it. (if you bought icing, use the attachment that looks like a Philips head screwdriver).

Stand the eyes up in the cupcakes (don’t lay flat). Press in firmly.

Press the half an oreo cookie into a spot for a mouth.

Pick up the icing more with your fork around the oreo cookie to make it look like the mouth is overtop.

Let the icing harden slightly before transporting. Lay cupcakes flat when travelling; never stack, no matter how dry, because it will flatten them and make them gummy and too moist.

Et voila: Cookie monsters.

Other options:

Elmo:

Make red cupcakes and red icing. Stand the eyes up as per normal but add a large yellow gumdrop directly under them to look like a nose.

Grover:

Keep the cupcakes blue, but lay the eyes flat instead of standing them up. Add a large pink gumdrop for a nose and a small strip of red licorice for a mouth.